There is an old saying that what makes you bad, makes you better.
Whilst I believe that in a number of cases this can in fact be plausible, in most circumstances it most certainly is not the case.
Let’s just take alcohol as just one example.
Anyway I digress, the point I want to make is that sometimes relationships split up because of a certain factor. By re-introducing this factor into the equation, there is the possibility of rescuing what was once there.
In this case I want to highlight the importance of communication.
I have been in this situation myself, and I have also witnessed this within the relationships of some close friends.
During the beginning of a relationship we are often swept away with lust, excitement and passion. We tend to share our feelings, fears, hopes and even dreams.
However as a relationship becomes more relaxed and perhaps more comfortable; then communication can be one of the things to fall down.
It is not so much then communication disappears, but there is the danger of the intensity or meaningfulness of that communication withers.
We hear examples so often of couples that simply don’t talk. This seems to be regardless of age, sexuality or even time spent together.
This lack of communication can create certain barriers within the relationship. It can make one partner feel under-valued. Perhaps they feel they receive less attention, compliments or affection.
Or perhaps the distance that a lack of communication creates can lead to the feeling of insecurity. This in turn can lead to trust issues.
A breakdown or lack of communication is not uncommon and can be the main cause of a relationship falling down. However there are ways to halt this decline.
All is certainly not lost, even when it appears that the end of the relationship is inevitable.
It’s good to talk
Sometimes one of the best things we can do is to start over in a sense.
Consider what made the relationship work in the first place.
What were the features that attracted you to this person? Then consider have those features changed, or have you simply stopped seeing them?
This period of thought and self-reflection can be incredibly powerful.
It has the potential to see where you have been going wrong yourself.
Have your priorities changed and have you stopped making as much effort?
If this is the case then you are in a position to understand where the problem’s lie. You then have the ability to do something about it.
I would strongly suggest that you do not keep these thoughts and feelings to yourself.
Talk about them with your loved one and explain your period of reflection.
Be open and honest and explain why you perhaps felt distant or inattentive. Take the opportunity to remind them what they mean to you, and how much you appreciate them.
You can then discuss together how you are able to ensure this period does not repeat itself going forward.
You could also suggest that your other half goes through the same process if it has proved useful for you.
This will certainly not be the case for every relationship. However do not underestimate the power of clear and honest communication.
If your relationship is or was worth fighting for; then this is a perfect starting point. You surely have little to lose and a huge amount to gain.