Why Communication in a Relationship is Key

There is an old saying that what makes you bad, makes you better.

Whilst I believe that in a number of cases this can in fact be plausible, in most circumstances it most certainly is not the case.

Let’s just take alcohol as just one example.

Anyway I digress, the point I want to make is that sometimes relationships split up because of a certain factor. By re-introducing this factor into the equation, there is the possibility of rescuing what was once there.

In this case I want to highlight the importance of communication.

 

Missing communication

I have been in this situation myself, and I have also witnessed this within the relationships of some close friends.

During the beginning of a relationship we are often swept away with lust, excitement and passion. We tend to share our feelings, fears, hopes and even dreams.

However as a relationship becomes more relaxed and perhaps more comfortable; then communication can be one of the things to fall down.

It is not so much then communication disappears, but there is the danger of the intensity or meaningfulness of that communication withers.

We hear examples so often of couples that simply don’t talk. This seems to be regardless of age, sexuality or even time spent together.

This lack of communication can create certain barriers within the relationship. It can make one partner feel under-valued. Perhaps they feel they receive less attention, compliments or affection.

Or perhaps the distance that a lack of communication creates can lead to the feeling of insecurity. This in turn can lead to trust issues.

A breakdown or lack of communication is not uncommon and can be the main cause of a relationship falling down. However there are ways to halt this decline.

All is certainly not lost, even when it appears that the end of the relationship is inevitable.

 

 

It’s good to talk

Sometimes one of the best things we can do is to start over in a sense.

Consider what made the relationship work in the first place.

What were the features that attracted you to this person? Then consider have those features changed, or have you simply stopped seeing them?

This period of thought and self-reflection can be incredibly powerful.

It has the potential to see where you have been going wrong yourself.

Have your priorities changed and have you stopped making as much effort?

If this is the case then you are in a position to understand where the problem’s lie. You then have the ability to do something about it.

I would strongly suggest that you do not keep these thoughts and feelings to yourself.

Talk about them with your loved one and explain your period of reflection.

Be open and honest and explain why you perhaps felt distant or inattentive. Take the opportunity to remind them what they mean to you, and how much you appreciate them.

You can then discuss together how you are able to ensure this period does not repeat itself going forward.

You could also suggest that your other half goes through the same process if it has proved useful for you.

 

This will certainly not be the case for every relationship. However do not underestimate the power of clear and honest communication.

If your relationship is or was worth fighting for; then this is a perfect starting point. You surely have little to lose and a huge amount to gain. If you decide it isn’t then allow yourself to move on.

Dont rush this or force the process. It can take time and a huge range of emotions. When you do decide you are ready to move on then considering searching for and visiting dating services near me. They can help to lead you onto the right path for love and friendship.

However only take this road if it is the right option for you.

Winning an Ex-Girlfriend Back: Get a New Job, a New Car, or a New Home

If your girlfriend has broken up with you, you may be very sad and depressed. If you want her back, you may need to get a new lease on life. What this means is that the shake up that she started in your life with the break-up may be the best thing that ever happened to you. It is said that change keeps us young. Maybe you need to make some other changes on your terms to show your ex-girlfriend that she really misses you and wants you back immediately.

 

Some Drastic and Not so Drastic Changes You Could Make

  • Get that New Condo You Wanted: now is a good time to move into that condo that you really wanted. A new home means new neighbors, new surroundings, and a new outlook on life.

 

  • Consider some College Classes: nothing soothes the soul like new information, new words, and new knowledge. When in college, we often focus on our core classes, as we should to graduate. But maybe you should sign up for those art classes you always wanted to take at the local college. You can become a student again.

 

  • Buy a New Car: okay, this is very drastic, but maybe you need drastic. I always mark my relationships by the car I was driving at the time. Go ahead and get the convertible you always wanted, she will notice, that is for sure. Think of it as a new car for the new and improved relationship you will have with her when you win her back for good.

 

  • Go on a Volunteer Trip: take your vacation time and use it for a volunteer company or program. If you are building homes for people who have lost their homes in a disaster area, your problem suddenly becomes a little more trivial. You, then become a better person for giving of yourself. She will also notice this change and this kind gesture.

 

  • Change your Job: it sounds very drastic to change your job to get your girlfriend back, but maybe you weren’t just static with her, but maybe you were stuck in the wrong job at the wrong place. This break-up could be beautiful for you. A man, who is happy in his job, is a happy man. Maybe you have not been happy for a long time and it was due to the job, and she thought it was her fault you were sad. Call and tell her about your exciting new job. She, too, will be excited.

 

  • Go Visit the Sick Children in a Hospital: nothing will make you more determined to right your life than seeing young children who cannot. You will walk out of the hospital a new man. This incident will be life altering. You should make sure to take a lot of stuffed animals for the kids. Even if you never get back with your girlfriend, you will remember this visit for all the right reasons for the rest of your life.

A Future with your EX

If having lost a girlfriend, you realize that she was really the one you wanted in your future, you may have a hard job winning her back. Finding a new girlfriend is often much easier than winning an old one back and so be sure, before you even start to try, that that is the thing that you really want to do.

Our advice relates more to un-married couples. If you feel like you require marriage counselling support near me, then there are support services available.

Of course we all feel it when a breakup occurs but if it is just a lack of female company we miss, we should move on and try and find a new girlfriend but, if this girl left a void that no other girl could fill, we have to be prepared to work hard in getting her back as it will not be easy.

Experts say, and studies confirm, that begging or making threats to either her or to yourself do not work if our intention is for a long term relationship.

Apparently when these methods have worked it has been to short felt emotions of either sympathy, fear or pity, none of which are long lasting emotions and the fact that we begged or threatened will have caused the girl to lose respect for us and therefore end any hope we may have had in winning her back permanently.

Again, according to the experts, bringing up memories about some good experiences you shared in the past is also a no as they may be counter-productive. Often when a girl is reminded of something in the past, she looks past just the thing mentioned and also sees something that is bad and so could reaffirm the reason or the breakup.

Instead of begging and bringing up the past, apparently what we need to do in order to win her back and have a chance of keeping her, is to apologize and talk of how the future could be.

If the reason for the breakup was anything to do with you not being able to change in any way, you better be prepared to make some changes and just telling her you will change may not be enough, you’ll have to fain a way of convincing her you have or can change and that may not be too easy.

Often a girl may leave because she feels the spark has gone from the romance and if this is the case you will need to rekindle that spark and one of the immediate ways to do that is offer to go out for a candle lit dinner.

As far as plans for the future go, consider the possibility of romantic weekends away together, perhaps walking through woods or along a moonlit beach. Offering to take her to Paris for a weekend in the city of love could be a good idea and may not be as expensive as you think.

Igniting that spark is one thing but remember, if you want her for the long term, you will have to keep thinking of ways to keep the romance going.

How to Get Your Ex-girlfriend back, the Waiting Game

All break-ups are hard but they can be placed, more or less, in two groups. Either you did something wrong, or you did too much good. While the second one is confusing, women have been known to walk away from men because they felt like he was just “too good”. This happens when you do everything for her to the point of being her servant and not her boyfriend. The time frame that you should follow to win her back depends on the group your break-up falls into.

 

If you did something wrong

Whether you were too selfish or continued to behave as if you’re single is irrelevant. If you did something wrong, you have to understand that for the first week after the break-up she will be angry with you. Contacting her at this time is pointless. It won’t help or hinder you. When a woman is wronged, she follows a predictable cycle. The first week after the event she is angry. Then from the 2nd week to about a month later, she is sad and lonely. After the month is up, she will start getting over you since she has survived the most painful part of her phase. Once that happens, getting her back will be hard. Your window of opportunity is just before the month is over. This is because, at that moment, she has felt life without you and hates it. About 3 weeks after the breakup she will miss you, want you back even, but it is up to you to make the first move.

 

If you did too much good

If you were the doormat in the relationship, you must take the opposite approach of the one above. This is because she won’t be angry the first week. Instead, she will be happy to be single. The first month after the break up will be more celebratory than you think. Thing is, by the end of the month she will remember the pain of being single. If you follow these rules, she will even miss you.

Avoid talking to her in any way for the first month. To help you, remove anything hers from sight. Place it somewhere safe, but away from you. If you look at things which remind you of her every day, you will call her and the plan will crumble. She needs space, give it to her. In the meantime, find a new hobby; go to the gym, work some extra hours. You need to distract yourself. In time, all these distractions will make you feel better and your goal will seem clearer. By being pathetic, you will just push her further away. You need to show her that you are still the man she fell in love with. You need to go back to that guy. An even better option is to grow as a person. Become a better man than she knew. Once a month or even two has passed, contact her.

 

When you call her

For either situation, this part is the same. Your move is simple, elegant. Call her, talk to her casually. Do not mention the relationship in any way. Instead, ask her out for coffee or dinner. Wine and dine her. Get her roses. This may seem like a cliché, but actually, it is a nice thing to do. Talk about what you have been doing and ask her what she’s up to. Slowly start to talk about how much fun you used to have. Let her lead this conversation. By the end of the date, you should tell her directly that you miss her and would like to give your relationship another chance. It can never be stressed enough that you need to be confident when saying this. Avoid being pathetic but be honest. By the end of the night, you will win her over, again.

Do You Want Your Ex Back?

This is a question many of us have had to ask ourselves at one time or another and it is one that we should think about very carefully. Usually our first thought is yes we would want them back but is that just a feeling for a woman’s company or feelings for just that one woman?

If it is just any woman’s company we miss, it may be easier to find a new girlfriend rather than seeking to get the old one back and remember, it didn’t work once so it may not work a second time. If however, we have feelings for just that one woman, our ex, we need to think carefully on how we can win her back and keep her this time.

Often when faced with this problem, some guys will opt to beg their ex to come back but although this may work, the result may only be temporary. Studies have shown that when men beg their exes to come back, many times the girl will return but only from a feeling of sympathy.

This means that as the sympathy wears off, so does the relationship. It would appear that women lose respect for those men that beg and as time goes on, their sympathy turns to disrespect and they leave with no hope of ever returning.

This has also been found to be the case when men use threats to get their exes back. The threats could be of them killing themselves as they cannot live without her. Again the girl may return but only through her feelings of sympathy, not romance. Another major mistake that many men make is to talk of the past, mentioning all the good times which the two had had together.

Apparently this can be equally bad as it is good as the girl also is reminded of the bad times you shared. This then, leaves a dilemma as to just what a man should do in order to win back their ex. According to so called experts, men should first of all apologize for any mistakes they may have made in the past and no just say that they have changed but find some way of showing that they have changed.

They must also make it clear to the girl that if she had made any mistakes, the man fully forgives her for them. The man should not bring up the past but look to the future, talking of all the good times they could have together. The bribe of a romantic dinner or getaway just for the two often helps endorse with the girl that the man is serious.

Of course though, if you are successful in winning back your ex, you must be careful not to repeat any mistakes you may have made in the past and hope that she is just as careful. It is possible to win back an ex but only if you do it in the right way, does it have a chance of becoming a lasting relationship.